Laughing in Her Sleep

When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that I laughed in my sleep. I always thought it was weird and that she was making it up. Then, one morning when I was 22 or so, I woke myself up cracking up at whatever was going on in my dream. So apparently I do laugh in my sleep.

...So does Kairi. 

Cute, huh?

(And for those wondering what on earth was going on in the background, it's the opening sequence to Rainbow Randolph's show on Death to Smoochy.)

The Fit

I don't know about you, but I like pictures that aren't always smiles and giggles and happiness and rainbows. Don't get me wrong - I like those pictures too, but I really enjoy seeing photos that convey sincere emotion, that really pull you into the scene and draw a mirrored emotion out of you. It's hard to do that with a group of people smushed together saying, "Cheese!"

I don't spend a lot of time with a camera in my hands, but when I do find the time to snap some shots, I do just that, in what some might call an over-abundance. I'm not a great photographer, but I've found that the more pictures you take, the more likely you are to come up with some good shots.

Today I was sitting in my living room messing around with my new iPod Touch. I was looking at the Histamatic photo application that I downloaded a couple of days ago, when Kairi approached me crying. I went ahead and snapped a couple of shots before consoling her. (Gracie had kept a toy from her - she wasn't hurt, just bummed. Just to clear that up.)

These are what I came up with. I think they turned out pretty good, for me at least. What unexpected moments do you find yourself capturing? Any good ones?

Drama Magnet

Have you ever met someone who always seems to have something bad going on in their life? They may not necessarily always be in crisis-mode, but they are always seconds away from a complete melt-down.

In my early 20's, I knew a lot of people like this. They would always tell me that they didn't know why the world was always crumbling around their ears, that people who cause trouble or create drama are just drawn to them like magnets. I always thought to myself that it must be something that person, the drama-magnet, was doing, some way they were acting, some choice they were making that brought all this trouble into their lives. After all, they were in fact the constant in the equation, and each individual crisis the variable. Their situation, despite different players, was always the same dramatic mess.

Over the past few years, especially since my introduction to social media (Hello, Facebook!), I have found myself in a similar state of disarray. I find myself constantly saying, "I am not a dramatic person, but you'd never be able to tell with all the chaos around me!"

I can't help but wonder if this extended access to larger groups of people isn't partially behind the high school-esque fights and situations I've found myself in recently. Opening myself up on a public forum to 500 people, only half of whom I am actually personally acquainted, probably has some to do with it. With a group so large, not everyone is going  to agree with me or with each other when posting on my page. Especially when you take into consideration some of the topics I post about (breastfeeding, to name a popular fighting topic from my Facebook wall).

But surely Facebook isn't the entire root of my drama. Some of my most recent problems, while the arguments and communications have taken place on Facebook, have not been the result of anything posted on Facebook. I've had some very big personal issues to deal with recently, all of which have taken me to DEFCON 1, full on crisis-mode.

I've decided to take some time to reflect inward and try to find the source of all of these problems. It seems that I can't go a week or two without something blowing up in my face, and there has to be a reason for that. I don't want to be that girl that constantly has drama and blames it only on the magnetic effect she has on people. (I guess.) Pointing fingers and blaming everyone else when all of these problems are revolving around me is not going to solve anything and until I find the root of these problems, I fear that they will continue to escalate.

So tell me, have you ever found yourself the at ground-zero of drama central? Were you able to dig yourself out of the rubble, or are you still trying to find your way through the dust?

To My Facebook People

Dear friends, family, and random acquaintances who have friended me on Facebook,

As I am sure you've come to notice, I post a lot on Facebook. Some would go as far as to say that I am obsessed. Perhaps that is true.

Some of the things that I post are not going to interest you. Perhaps a lot of the things I post won't interest you. Some of you will grow tired of reading my posts. If that is the case, do our relationship a favor and remove me from your feed before you grow resentful towards me for using my Facebook page the way I want to, as apparently some of you have.

Should you feel the need to tell me how you feel about me, please do not do so on my Wall. A private message is a completely appropriate form of communication for things that should remain private.

I make no apologies for my posts, no matter how frequent or controversial. It is, after all, MY Facebook page. And I will not tolerate personal attacks on my page, so if you become deleted after making inappropriate comments, feel free to direct your anger at yourself.

Gracie Turns 6

Gracie had a great birthday this year. I took her to school and immediately made my way to Wal-Mart to pick up some cookies and juice to take to her class, then I returned around 9:50 to share. The kids were all so excited and Gracie got to sit in a chair in the middle of her classroom while her friends sang the birthday song to her (and she sang it to herself).

I then went back home and wrapped all of her gifts. We had just gotten our state tax check in the mail a day prior, so I managed to buy her some additional gifts, as well as a couple for Kairi to open.

After getting her gifts wrapped, I made my way back to the school to pick her up and take her to lunch. She wanted McDonald's, so she, Kairi, and I went and had chicken nuggets before returning Gracie back to school.

I spent the rest of my afternoon cleaning the house, getting it ready for my Mom's arrival. Gracie and her Mimi are super close, so Mom tries to make it to all of Gracie's big events. After Gracie got out of school, she and I headed to Wal-Mart to pick up her cake, and I surprised her by stopping at the salon inside Wal-Mart to get her hair trimmed and curled. She loved it.

Later, after Mom arrived, it was time for Gracie's party to start. We had her party in the Burger King play room this year, and it couldn't have gone better. We had a blast. Several of our friends showed up, lots of kids, and Gracie made out like a bandit.

As the night wore on, she got to open her presents, and we saved the best for last:



Over all, it was a really good night full of fun and friends.

New 'Do

I try not to focus too much on vanity. As a mom, I have very little time for it, plus although I guess it's supposed to highlight the attractive features of a person, it kind of just makes me cringe.

However, it has been two years since I've had my hair done. And even then, I just got my split ends chopped off in a "get it done quick to get it out of my way" hair cut. Because let's face it, learning how to breastfeed can be really hard when your hair is always falling in your daughter's face or over your boobs before she has the chance to latch on.

So when my mother asked me in November what I wanted from her for Christmas, I told her I wanted to get my hair done.

I went last week and finally got it taken care of. I had her cut me some layers in hopes that my hair won't tangle as badly as it has been this past year, and I got highlights. 

Anyway - sorry for the short posts lately. I am trying to figure out how to focus on school as well as balance everything else in and the blog has fallen a bit to the wayside. I'm starting to get it down though, I think, so hopefully more posts - with some length - to come.

Until then, be safe and have fun. And to you moms out there, take an afternoon and do something for yourself. Just getting my hair done has made me feel loads lighter.

<3

Quick Hit: The Things My Children Say

Gracie: I have a hole in my panties!

Me: Uh oh - time for a new pair!

Gracie: It's cuz I tooted in them.

Tips on How to Be an American

A friend of mine moved to Germany when she was twelve and is moving back home to the States in three months. She's asking for tips on how to be an American.

Here's my list:


1. Buy a couch from a thrift store. Put it on your porch. Leave it. Sit on it in the summer time every now and again, but mostly just leave it.

2. Eat at McDonald's for every meal of every day until you develop a serious medical condition.

3. Ask for state funded medical care and then bitch about how Obama is attempting to turn the entire country into a bunch of Commies with his socialized medicine.

4. If you learned any foreign languages while away, forget them. Replace them with the following words: "Y'all. 'Sup. What it do. Homie don't play that."

5. Any time previously spent reading or enriching yourself culturally should now be spent watching Desperate Housewives, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and Jersey Shore.

6. Everything tastes better with bacon.

7. Trade in your economical, small car for a Hummer. Drive it every chance you get, even if it's for no reason whatsoever.

8. Buy a television for every room in your house. Leave them on at all times.

9. Bigger is always better. ALWAYS.

10. Get some guns. Mount them on your walls, as well as in the back window of your pick up truck.

So.... I'm totally joking and I honestly don't expect her to do any of these things, but it was still fun poking fun of myself and the people I know.

What would you add to this list?

P.S. I would like to add that I really do love my country and I realize that we're not all rednecks and not everyone here is stupid, fat, and/or lazy. We're very diverse and whatnot. I hope no one is offended by my jokes. :)

Momma's New Shoes

Momma got a new pair of shoes!

Yup, that's right. I got some new shoes. I was walking down the super-clearance aisle at Wal-Mart yesterday and saw these puppies there...

I've been kind of eying them for the past few months. Cute, huh? So when I saw them on sale, I jumped! And guess what.... They were only $2!

"$2?!" I said. "Can't beat that price!" I tried one on and put them in the basket and went on my merry way.

But when I got home, I found out why they were only $2. See if you can guess.

Thanks, Wal-Mart.

Angel Babies

The online community can be a wonderful thing. But there are days when it gives me cold and heartbreaking glimpses of the world outside of my shiny happy bubble. There are days when I just want to grab my girls and curl up in a little ball around them and keep them safe and warm with me. 

These days started when I became a member of the March '09 Mommies board on the What to Expect website. Within a month, I read about several mothers who had lost their babies, whether to miscarriage, still-birth, or sickness after birth. Angel Babies, they call them. 

I read their stories and cried. I tried to stay in touch with the women I had made friends with, and I sent messages of condolences to the ones I hadn't yet met. 

And I prayed that I'd never read another heart wrenching story like theirs again. As hard as it is for me just reading it, I can't imagine how hard it is on the women who have to write them. 

Over time, I began making friends on Twitter and through my blog and other blogs and found myself reading more stories about these Angel Babies. A friend will post about someone she knows, someone whose blog she reads, and she says, "Go read her story - it could save your child's life."

So I go. And I read. And I cry. I think about how lucky I am to have happy, healthy children and I hug them tighter than I did before. 

I'm not a particularly religious person, but when I read these women's sad stories, I pray for them. I pray to whoever may or may not be listening that they find some sort of peace in their loss, even if it is a long time before it comes. 

I try to find reason in the stories, but is there any? Sure, there are new precautions I take now that I would have never thought about before. I ask all of my pregnant friends to be sure to ask for a pulse oximetry reading on their newborn at around 24 hours after birth. I diligently watch my children any time we are in a home with a pool. I am in the process of anchoring all of my heavy furniture to protect from tipping. My children are safer because of these stories, but I feel like it's at the cost of another child's life. 

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post or why I'm even writing it. All I know is that I'm sitting here, my cheeks stinging from the tears left there to dry, and I need to get something out. 

I guess I just want to say to all the Angel Baby parents out there that your stories have affected me in a very deep way and I think about you and your little ones often. Thank you for sharing with me, even if it hurts.