Showing posts with label Drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drama. Show all posts

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Drama Magnet

Have you ever met someone who always seems to have something bad going on in their life? They may not necessarily always be in crisis-mode, but they are always seconds away from a complete melt-down.

In my early 20's, I knew a lot of people like this. They would always tell me that they didn't know why the world was always crumbling around their ears, that people who cause trouble or create drama are just drawn to them like magnets. I always thought to myself that it must be something that person, the drama-magnet, was doing, some way they were acting, some choice they were making that brought all this trouble into their lives. After all, they were in fact the constant in the equation, and each individual crisis the variable. Their situation, despite different players, was always the same dramatic mess.

Over the past few years, especially since my introduction to social media (Hello, Facebook!), I have found myself in a similar state of disarray. I find myself constantly saying, "I am not a dramatic person, but you'd never be able to tell with all the chaos around me!"

I can't help but wonder if this extended access to larger groups of people isn't partially behind the high school-esque fights and situations I've found myself in recently. Opening myself up on a public forum to 500 people, only half of whom I am actually personally acquainted, probably has some to do with it. With a group so large, not everyone is going  to agree with me or with each other when posting on my page. Especially when you take into consideration some of the topics I post about (breastfeeding, to name a popular fighting topic from my Facebook wall).

But surely Facebook isn't the entire root of my drama. Some of my most recent problems, while the arguments and communications have taken place on Facebook, have not been the result of anything posted on Facebook. I've had some very big personal issues to deal with recently, all of which have taken me to DEFCON 1, full on crisis-mode.

I've decided to take some time to reflect inward and try to find the source of all of these problems. It seems that I can't go a week or two without something blowing up in my face, and there has to be a reason for that. I don't want to be that girl that constantly has drama and blames it only on the magnetic effect she has on people. (I guess.) Pointing fingers and blaming everyone else when all of these problems are revolving around me is not going to solve anything and until I find the root of these problems, I fear that they will continue to escalate.

So tell me, have you ever found yourself the at ground-zero of drama central? Were you able to dig yourself out of the rubble, or are you still trying to find your way through the dust?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

To My Facebook People

Dear friends, family, and random acquaintances who have friended me on Facebook,

As I am sure you've come to notice, I post a lot on Facebook. Some would go as far as to say that I am obsessed. Perhaps that is true.

Some of the things that I post are not going to interest you. Perhaps a lot of the things I post won't interest you. Some of you will grow tired of reading my posts. If that is the case, do our relationship a favor and remove me from your feed before you grow resentful towards me for using my Facebook page the way I want to, as apparently some of you have.

Should you feel the need to tell me how you feel about me, please do not do so on my Wall. A private message is a completely appropriate form of communication for things that should remain private.

I make no apologies for my posts, no matter how frequent or controversial. It is, after all, MY Facebook page. And I will not tolerate personal attacks on my page, so if you become deleted after making inappropriate comments, feel free to direct your anger at yourself.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Wasted Time and Energy

I don't know about you, but from time to time I find myself concentrating a little too hard and a little too long on something that really doesn't matter. Today is no exception.

This morning when I woke up, I got on Facebook and was confronted by an email from a woman I don't know. Well, I do know her... Sort of. I know her in the kind of way you know the girl who worked as a cashier at the gas station by your house 6 years ago and the way you know a girl whose little brother was an acquaintance in high school.

In the email, she accuses me of talking about an incident that happened about 15 years or so ago and then she brings up some false information regarding my husband. Let me tell ya, folks. It's a great way to wake up.

So I emailed her back. I told her that I don't know her, I know nothing about her, and I have better things to do than talk about someone I don't know. While I really wanted to go off the handle and drag it out, in the long run I know I will regret it. I hate drama and I have no interest in being involved in it. So instead, I wrote out a short and to the point response and decided to leave it at that.

This was 3 hours ago. And I've thought of little other than that since. I wonder who is telling her that I'm talking about her. I think about what I'll say when she responds. I've called and spoken to several friends about the whole ordeal. I just can't get if off my mind.

But. It's so stupid. The timestamp on her email is shortly after the bars close and by the typos she made in it, I'm assuming that she got home from the bar and wanted to start some problems with people. From the things that I hear about her, this wouldn't surprise me.

As well, I realize that while I said I have no interest in talking about her, that's exactly what I'm doing.

Ugh.

So I am making this vow: I'm done wasting my energy on this person that I don't know. I have no stock in the brand of bull she's selling so I'm really just wasting my time and efforts on something that is never going to prove fruitful for me or my family.

Do you ever find yourself wasting time thinking and talking about something that shouldn't matter? How to you break the cycle?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Change.

I posted a note on Facebook tonight. I state in the note that it is not aimed at any specific person, or any specific incident. I would like to make that statement here as well - especially in light of my recent posts concerning breastfeeding on Facebook. (Facebook Conversations Volume 1 and the Update) There have been several incidences where I have been approached about various different subjects that make others uncomfortable. I have been chastised for using dirty language (I cuss like a sailor.), for making crude jokes (I have an incredibly demented sense of humor.), for gossiping (what can I say? I like the juicy gossip.), and for making statements about MANY different hot topics (abortion, breastfeeding, the death penalty, the election, etc. etc. etc.) I realize that the breastfeeding bruhaha is still fairly fresh, and while that does play a large part in this, it is not what it's about.

Having said that, here is the note:

Changes That Need to Be Made

Disclaimer: This note is not aimed at any one person in particular. I am not in the mood to talk about this further - the subject is not open for discussion. I ask that you respect what I have to say and leave it at that.

Over the past several months, I have received several comments from several people regarding my statements on varying subjects. Some comments have been public, some have not. Some have been respectful, and some have not. Regardless of the tone of the comments made, I have felt the need to stifle myself, to censor myself here for fear of making people uncomfortable. Doing so has made me come to resent Facebook, a place where previously I loved coming to engage in various different discussions with my friends and family.

As most of you know, I am a stay at home mom. I also have no car. I have no way to get out, to go socialize as I so desperately need to in order to stay sane. This is where I socialize. And I have been made to feel uncomfortable in my only real sanctuary.

That's about to change. Rather than censoring myself for the comfort of others, I am going to speak what's on my mind. Ever notice what it says above the text box where you input your status? It says, "What's on your mind?" It doesn't say, "Who do you want to please?" or "Watch what you say! Your words might make someone squeamish."

What I ask of you is to think back to when you added me to your page. Why did you do that? Was it because we're friends or family? Was it because you value what I have to say? Anyone who is close to me knows how important it is to me that you like me for who I am, not what I pretend to be. That has been at the core of my being for a very long time, and I don't plan to change that. If this makes you uncomfortable, if you can't handle what I have to say, please remove me from your friends list. I promise I won't take it personally. I'm not going to quit talking to you in person or quit being your friend/family if that's the case. There have been several people who have posted things that I can't handle who I have un-friended. I'm not even sure if they've noticed. We still talk and hang out in person.

The point is this: I am who I am and I'm going to say what I have to say. I love engaging in discussions and broadening my views and debating issues, so please, still feel free to comment on what I say. But please don't ask me to censor myself.

Again, I would like to point out that this is not aimed at any specific person. I would also like to remind you all that this is not up for discussion. Period.
I really wish that I could close the comments on my Facebook, but I can't. Not on the notes. I can delete them once they are posted, but I really just don't want to hear anything having to do with this. Like I say above, it's not up for discussion there.