Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Words I Don't Say When I'm Too Busy Complaining

There is something I feel I need to clear up. This is not so much something I need to clear up with my bloggy friends as it is with the people I talk to IRL. But it's going up here anyway because I write better than I talk.

I am a complainer. It is SO easy for me to find something to whine about and while I am in a lot of ways a very optimistic person, I am also very cynical. My optimism shines brightest when faced with severe adversity. And believe me when I say I have been faced with severe adversity. But that's a completely different story. The point is that when put in situations that other people claim they would either kill themselves or be committed if they were there, I see where I need to find strength and I look to the good to find it.

The same is not so true in everyday boring life. In everyday life, when the objective is not quite so clear, my mind tends to focus on what's wrong in the situation. What is there for me to bicker about? I get frustrated quite easily these days and once that switch is flipped, it's really hard for me to find my way back to a good mood.

The person I complain about the most is my husband. I rant and rave when he pisses me off and because of that I am afraid that people might have gotten the wrong impression of him. I don't compliment him to others often and this is a severe injustice. SEVERE.

I would like to take the time now to tell you a few of the wonderful things about my husband that I have kept quiet for far too long:

I have a hard time sleeping sometimes when he's not laying next to me. He, however, works nights and often needs to stay up later than I would like in order to wind down. But he knows that I have trouble sleeping without him so he comes to bed with me, hours before he is ready, just so I can fall asleep.

Often times, once we get to bed I will realize that I'm hungry or thirsty. I will usually complain about it briefly, and without actually being asked Jason will get up and go fix me a bowl of cereal, glass of milk, or a sandwich so I don't fall asleep needing or wanting of anything.

Jason has a crazy sense of humor. Sometimes he says things that sort of embarrass me (for lack of a better word... Not so much embarrass, it's more that he says things that aren't exactly PC in slightly inappropriate situations). But more often than not he will crack a joke that I just know if he said it to anyone else, they might think he had a mental deficiency, but when it's said to me (which it's usually something he would only say to me) it cracks me up. He knows that I like the quirky, slightly off comedy and he plays to it perfectly.

Jason is a great daddy. And he is SO proud of his girls. It's so funny hearing him brag about them, about the new things they are doing. When I was pregnant with Gracie he was so worried that he wouldn't know how to be a good dad because no one ever really showed him. In all reality, he's a natural. He's really softened up for the girls.

Remember how I mentioned that once I'm in a bad mood it's hard to get back? Jason is about the only person who can bring me back from that (aside from the girls, that is.) He is able to distract me from what I'm mad at long enough to see the situation objectively and let go of what I need to.

There are so many other little, wonderful things that Jason does and things about Jason that I could share, but for now I just wanted to share a few to let everyone know that although I complain - and I complain a lot - my husband really is a wonderful guy and I am so happy to be in this relationship. He puts up with a lot of shit from me, more than I think anyone else would and it's not fair that people don't know that.


Beecher said...

I keep trying to comment and getting errors. Oops.
Regardless, I wanted to tell you I love this post. It's thoughtful and sweet and you all sound like such a lovely family.
Thanks for sharing this post!

angelarenai said...

its so easy to get sucked into a spiral of negativity. Usually when I get sucked into them you will see me abandoning my blog for days on end. I think its a good think you at least vent your frustrations. Some of us just bottle them up to ourselves. I say rant away if thats what you need to do! You can find the silver lining later.

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