Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Post Where I Whine and Cry About Being Tired

Edit: I wrote this post this morning at about 7:30 after waking up at 6:30. At that point in time I had gotten 2 hours of sleep (stretched over a 6 hour period of time.) I was, as I say below, freaking tired. I was also pissed at my husband who didn't really do anything wrong... because I was tired and I wanted to blame him. I'm not going to edit the post itself because it's what I felt at the time, but I want it to be said here that I'm no longer mad at him, now that I've had some time to actually sleep on it, and that my anger wasn't entirely justified. My husband is a great guy - I just don't post the good things often. (Which reminds me of a post I need to write. Like, now.) 

Anyway - yeah, I was pissed this morning, but please take this as a sleep deprived rant and just that okay?

Guess what, folks? If you read the title, you're probably saying to yourself, "Hmm... I don't know! Is she going to announce that she's spewing rainbows and Skittles from every orifice?" ... Okay, that's probably not what you're saying. I'll spare you the speculations of what you may or may not be saying and get to the point:

I am freaking tired.

There. I said it. I'm tired. Last night was rough. I was tired because I'd slept like crap the night before (Kairi flailed in her sleep, kicking and punching me throughout the night, to the point that upon waking to a fist in the face my first words were *somewhat censored* "G-Damnit mother effing poo!" Jason, who just fell asleep, was not impressed.) Kairi was tired too. Her sleep schedule has been a bit erratic the past few days because she has a cold and is, I believe, teething again. I knew, as she had barely napped all day yesterday, that she was just as ready for bed as I was. It was midnight when we finally laid down and she was out within minutes. For me, it took a bit longer. 30-45 minutes longer. That's not bad, but it's not great either.

At 1 Jason woke me up to tell me that he was going out with a friend for a bit. Jason very rarely goes out with friends, so on the odd occasion that he does go out, even if it is 1 in the morning, I'm completely fine with it. Only I had just been asleep for maybe 30 minutes, and now I was wide awake again.

To make a long and fairly boring (but frustrating) story short, I went back and forth between sleeping 10-30 minutes at a time before being woken up by Kairi's coughing or flailing and being awake for an hour or two before falling back asleep. At 3:20 Kairi woke up just enough to start crying, but not enough to be soothed. I tried all my tricks to get her back to sleep but fell short. So I called Jason's friend to try to get Jason to come home. I needed his help, otherwise I wouldn't have called. I don't want to be "that wife," the party pooper. Jason told me he'd be home after a couple more hands of dominoes. Which took over an hour. I managed to get Kairi back to sleep in that time, but I was angry that he didn't come to help.

I managed finally to get to sleep around 5:30 only to wake up at 6:30. Kairi was wide awake and ready to get out of bed. I haven't cried about a frustrating, sleepless night since Kairi was about 2 months old, but I sure did this morning.

Forgive me if I seem ranty this morning. I'm just tired. And frustrated. I'm pissed that Jason is in the bedroom snoring away while I am up with the baby after being up pretty much all night with her. I'm sure after I get some rest I will look back at this and think I was being too hard on Jason (which I probably am, but only a little.) but for now I just need to get this out.

And now, an hour and a half later, Kairi is yawning. I'm going to try to get her back to sleep and hopefully we can sleep well into the morning. Keep your fingers crossed for me.