Monday, December 14, 2009

Something is Off

I have had the strangest feeling all day today. Something isn't right and I don't know what it is. Normally when I get this feeling, I think, "Well, maybe I've forgotten something..." then I go through my list of things I typically do in a day and things I know I need to do. If I haven't stumbled across whatever I think I'm forgetting I chalk it up to random weirdness and move on. I know what needs to be done will be done one way or another, my kids are taken care of - happy and healthy - and it's all good. Whatever it was couldn't be that important.

I have gone though my lists a million times today. Nothing fits and the feeling is not going away. Let me run you though my day (as boring as that may be - I'll stick to the highlights.)

I got up at 7 to get Gracie ready for school and sent her off by 7:50. Then I went back to bed for a while. Kairi and I got up just before 11, Jason just after. I got online and checked Twitter and Facebook (for those who don't know, this is an addiction for me that could possibly need rehab. Yes, actual rehab.) I had a new message on my Facebook account telling me I should check out this mommy forum. I normally ignore such messages or choose to try it out later but then forget, but this time I went ahead and signed up. I checked the place out and might actually stick around a while. But while I was there I started feeling it. That weird feeling that something was out of place. I went back through my list, found no good reason for the feeling then went about my day.

Just before 1 I get a phone call. It's Gracie's school. Gracie has bitten another student and is being sent home early. Great. So I walked up to the school and talked with the counselor about the incident. I explained that we've never had any problems with Gracie biting, not since she got teeth in the first place and discovered that Momma yells REALLY loud when she uses them. (That was a fun period of time.) After we got home I sent Gracie to her room to think about what she had done. I came back out and did some more tinkering online.

Jason and I hung out for a while and Kairi napped. Thank goodness Kairi napped - she's been sick and refuses to sleep unless being held. But that's another story. After a while Gracie got up and we were watching YouTube videos on the Playstation. I laid on my stomach on the floor while Kairi played on my back (baby back rubs, y'all. Good stuff.) and Gracie ran around the living room making Kairi laugh. The feeling crept back up as well as the incredible regret that I didn't try to nap while the girls were both sleeping.

Shortly after that Jason went to work. I hung out with the girls and we watched Up. Kairi pulled up to a box in front of the television and Gracie helped her find her way back down, right onto Gracie's lap. The girls sat together watching the movie for a good while just cuddling and for a moment all felt right with the world.

After a while of doing nothing worth noting I got back online and hit up Twitter. Lots of tweets about a woman named Military_Mom whose 2 year old son passed away tragically this evening in some sort of pool accident. I looked into it a little bit then went and hugged my girls for a little bit longer. (By the way, if you want to help the family, check out this site.) Again it felt like something was out of place, but I can't be sure if it was the same feeling I'd felt all day or if it was the pangs of remorse I felt for Military_Mom and her family.

A bit later I discovered a couple stashes of hidden candy wrappers that Gracie had tucked away in some random spots in the living room. Actually, I should credit those discoveries to Kairi - my only real discovery was the sudden stash of wrappers in Kairi's mouth. Good times. I decided perhaps it was a good time to do a nice, deep clean on the living room. I got about halfway done when I remembered hearing Gracie say to Kairi, "Here, you can chew on this!" and the sudden realization that I wasn't exactly sure what "this" had been hit me. As if in slow motion, I turned to see my lovely little baby pull her clenched hands away from her mouth, thick saliva strung from her mouth finally breaking as the distance thinned it out. In those wet, tiny balled fists, my phone. My $250 phone, that is in all actuality not my phone but my friend's phone who has been gracious enough to loan it to me until I can buy my own. I grabbed it and wiped away the spit from the buttons. "How long had she had my phone?" I wondered. "And just how much spit can an 8 month old baby really produce?" To answer that question: a lot. Enough to render half of the buttons on one side of the phone completely inoperable and half the buttons on the other side performing random operations over and over again.


I managed to get my phone turned off (after randomly dialing a few different people without being able to hang up) and the SIM card removed and into a cheap, unbreakable phone that I keep around for temporary use. The saliva drenched phone is in a baggie filled with rice. I'm hoping the rice will wick away the moisture. (REALLY hoping. In fact, do me a favor and hope with me. I might need the help this time.)

Now, instead of the feeling that something is missing I am filled with feelings of frustration and anger and guilt that I could have quite possibly broken something that doesn't belong to me. I don't believe in psychics, but if I did I might conclude that my feeling had been an omen, my third eye picking up on the trouble in the distant future.

Anyway. I am sure I could end this on some really funny note about how psychic visions are bullshit and make it seem like it's all gonna be okay with a quick joke. But the fact of the matter is that I am probably out $250 and it is quickly approaching 1 am. I'm tired and I have to be up at 5 tomorrow morning. If I'm not too exhausted tomorrow I might throw out some extra energy to think up the perfect ending for this post and exchange that for this paragraph. In the meantime, hope with me that the phone is fine and that I haven't forgotten something that's going to be important tomorrow.