Sunday, November 29, 2009

Change.

I posted a note on Facebook tonight. I state in the note that it is not aimed at any specific person, or any specific incident. I would like to make that statement here as well - especially in light of my recent posts concerning breastfeeding on Facebook. (Facebook Conversations Volume 1 and the Update) There have been several incidences where I have been approached about various different subjects that make others uncomfortable. I have been chastised for using dirty language (I cuss like a sailor.), for making crude jokes (I have an incredibly demented sense of humor.), for gossiping (what can I say? I like the juicy gossip.), and for making statements about MANY different hot topics (abortion, breastfeeding, the death penalty, the election, etc. etc. etc.) I realize that the breastfeeding bruhaha is still fairly fresh, and while that does play a large part in this, it is not what it's about.

Having said that, here is the note:

Changes That Need to Be Made

Disclaimer: This note is not aimed at any one person in particular. I am not in the mood to talk about this further - the subject is not open for discussion. I ask that you respect what I have to say and leave it at that.

Over the past several months, I have received several comments from several people regarding my statements on varying subjects. Some comments have been public, some have not. Some have been respectful, and some have not. Regardless of the tone of the comments made, I have felt the need to stifle myself, to censor myself here for fear of making people uncomfortable. Doing so has made me come to resent Facebook, a place where previously I loved coming to engage in various different discussions with my friends and family.

As most of you know, I am a stay at home mom. I also have no car. I have no way to get out, to go socialize as I so desperately need to in order to stay sane. This is where I socialize. And I have been made to feel uncomfortable in my only real sanctuary.

That's about to change. Rather than censoring myself for the comfort of others, I am going to speak what's on my mind. Ever notice what it says above the text box where you input your status? It says, "What's on your mind?" It doesn't say, "Who do you want to please?" or "Watch what you say! Your words might make someone squeamish."

What I ask of you is to think back to when you added me to your page. Why did you do that? Was it because we're friends or family? Was it because you value what I have to say? Anyone who is close to me knows how important it is to me that you like me for who I am, not what I pretend to be. That has been at the core of my being for a very long time, and I don't plan to change that. If this makes you uncomfortable, if you can't handle what I have to say, please remove me from your friends list. I promise I won't take it personally. I'm not going to quit talking to you in person or quit being your friend/family if that's the case. There have been several people who have posted things that I can't handle who I have un-friended. I'm not even sure if they've noticed. We still talk and hang out in person.

The point is this: I am who I am and I'm going to say what I have to say. I love engaging in discussions and broadening my views and debating issues, so please, still feel free to comment on what I say. But please don't ask me to censor myself.

Again, I would like to point out that this is not aimed at any specific person. I would also like to remind you all that this is not up for discussion. Period.
I really wish that I could close the comments on my Facebook, but I can't. Not on the notes. I can delete them once they are posted, but I really just don't want to hear anything having to do with this. Like I say above, it's not up for discussion there.

2 comments:

BeautifulWreck said...

Good for you!

motheringkearah said...

Wow are you and I ever going through the same thing! I am sorry to hear about it. Maybe we should become friends LOL.

Seriously I hope things gets better, maybe you will have to restrick some form your wall (I think you can do that?).

Take care!

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