Friday, November 27, 2009

Because It's Thanksgiving

I was going to write a post about what I'm thankful for, because it is Thanksgiving. I did not, however, get around to that. It's not that I'm not thankful, it's just that I'm busy living in my gratitude rather than reflecting on it. (Not that the latter is bad, as I LOVE taking some time out to think about what I have to be thankful for.)

Anyway - I am a member of a message board (one, that I will not I am EXTREMELY thankful for. What an amazing support group!) and before I started this blog I would occasionallly write blog entries on MySpace and repost them for my message board friends to read. I found one from 4/26/09 that I think would be perfect for today. I am thankful for reminders like these:

Easy Like Sunday Morning - 4/26/09 (Kairi's 1 month birthday)

My family is awesome. I'm so stoked to be so lucky. Although the fact that I am breastfeeding Kairi means that I'm working with her a lot more than I did with Gracie, she's super easy. I get a little discouraged from time to time, but no where near as much as I did with Gracie. Gracie had colic, if that's any indication as to how often I could be found crying my eyes out at 4am while holding a screaming child. Want to know how many times I've cried out of frustration with Kairi? Once. Well, twice, but I was more frustrated with Jason than with Kairi.

At first, when we finally got to bring her home Jason would get frustrated with her crying and snap at me about it... Not an attack by any means, nothing directed necessarily at either Kairi or myself, but still discouraging. I had a talk with him a few days ago about it, and he's been SUCH A HUGE HELP since then. He's done a complete 180. Well, not complete as it wasn't that bad to begin with, but man oh man is he helpful now. And it's made life for me so much easier. I'm so lucky to have a man who can take constructive criticism well and do something with it... And I'm lucky to have a man who is willing to help... All I really ever ask is for 5-10 minutes of break time for myself. That, or I'll wake up with Kairi when he gets up, and I'll feed and change her, and he will take her to the living room so I can get a couple more hours of sleep. How fucking cool is that?

And Gracie... She's just a doll. She's still acting out a bit like she had been shortly before we had Kairi, but it's toned down quite a bit - that paired with the fact that I know how to handle it now really makes it a lot easier. And she's such a tremendous help with Kairi. Sure, we've had a couple issues, but nothing like what I thought we would have. Just areas where we've had to teach Gracie about babies and how they are too little for certain things, or about how when she's got her eyes shut to try to be quiet and still.

Kairi is starting to get used to things. Tonight has been a breeze. Kairi was asleep when Jason left for work. She woke up right after he left, but wasn't crying/didn't look like she was about to cry, so I let her hang out while I hopped in the shower. She cried a little while I was in the shower, but Gracie gave her a pacifier and talked to her until I got out. (It was SO sweet walking into the bedroom to see Gracie laying on her stomach talking to her sister... "It's okay, Kairi," she'd say. "Momma will be here soon. I'll watch you til then.") I kept the water running when I got out of the shower just long enough to get a couple inches in the tub and got Kairi ready for a bath. So far, every bath I've given her she has cried and squirmed the entire time. This time? She smiled. She cried just a bit towards the end, but nothing major. I got her out of the tub and dressed. After I fed her, she fell asleep. My friend Dugan came over and I got the girls together and we went to Chili's. Gracie behaved pretty well the whole time (she got under the table for a minute, but aside from that I have no complaints.) and Kairi slept the whole time. Since we've gotten home, Kairi has been awake and just hanging out in her bouncy seat. Typically she doesn't like not being held unless she's asleep. She doesn't cry hard or loud, just kind of idly complains. Tonight though? Not one single cry or complaint out of her. It. Has. Been. AWESOME.

I am so stoked to have had such a great day with such a great family today. I hope that I have more days like today.
I couldn't help but smile when I read over that again tonight. As Kairi has gotten older, Jason has become increasingly more and more involved and helpful. And now that Gracie is in school and we've got a more concrete disciplinary style down pat (we're doing a positive/negative reinforcement kind of discipline with her and it's working famously!) her behavior has mellowed out quite a bit! And Kairi... man, that kid is just growing so quick! I have such a hard time believing that she is 8 months old! Whoa!

Anyway. My family is awesome and things are going great. I am thankful for them, for the good and the bad and everything in between.

I love you guys.