When you're a mom, there's something about looking down at your sleeping child that sometimes fills you with the most intense sense of gratification. There's a certain peace in knowing that you've done your job. All of the worry and stress of the day is washed away and you're left feeling full of nothing but, as cheesy as it sounds, pure love for your child, a love so strong that it feels like it could literally burst out of you at any second.
At one point in time after I had Gracie, I want to say she was three or so, she was napping while I was on the phone with my mom. I looked down at her and she was so peaceful and everything just seemed so right with the world in that moment. That feeling washed over me, that rush of oxytocin. I asked my mother if that feeling ever goes away, if it fades with time as your child grows older.
Her response was that, no, it never goes away or fades with time, that she still feels that feeling for me. Like so many other children, for many years I had taken for granted the love of my parents, as it had never occurred to me until that moment exactly how much love was felt for me, even as an adult.
As I look on at my two sleeping daughters right now, I feel that feeling still. I never would have thought that it could be bigger than it already was, but every time that feeling washes over me, I remember that someone out there feels the same way for me and it doubles. There's no real way to describe it, other than a never-ending flow of energy that runs from mother to child, and is now channeled from one mother's child to her own children. I hope my girls can share this chain of love with their own children one day.
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