I just got finished writing a query to a very popular advice column. I doubt if I'll get any kind of a response from that venue, but I'd like to share my letter here and see what advice you all might have to offer.
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Neither my husband or I are religious, and we decided before having children that we would give our kids a well rounded religious education once they were old enough to understand that they have a choice in their beliefs.
That being said, our oldest daughter is 6 years old and is in kindergarten. A few weeks ago, she came home from school and told me that she'd asked her teacher about her cross necklace and her teacher responded that the cross reminds her of Jesus and how he died on the cross to be the one true lord and savior. While I disagreed with the fact that her teacher shared that with her, I understood that my daughter asked the question to begin with, inviting that answer.
Today, on Good Friday, my daughter came home from school and told me all about Easter and how Jesus died to absolve our sins and how we should praise God for sending us his only begotten son, etc. etc. etc. Her teacher told the entire class the story of Easter with her own religious belief embellishments added in. (I'd like to note that my daughter goes to public school.)
I'm angry and upset that such an authority figure would take time out of class to push her own religious agenda upon a group of impressionable 5 and 6 year olds, none of whom are old enough to realize that they can question her authority. I would like to take this issue up with the school, but I am not sure what exactly I should do.
Some friends have suggested obeying the chain of command and talking directly with the teacher first. I am afraid that if I do this, my daughter will be singled out as the kid with Hellbound parents. Other friends have suggested going directly to the principal or even the school board, but I don't want to get the teacher fired. Aside from this incident, we've never had any issue with the teacher and my daughter loves her.
I'm afraid that no matter what I do, the situation may not be resolved, as I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt and most people around here take complaints against their public religious beliefs as a personal offense or something to be shrugged off and laughed at.
So what do I do?
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Picture Perfect
14 years ago
Tori · 725 weeks ago
I'm sorry you are now facing this situation.
I would talk directly to the teacher and based on her reaction either consider it done or go higher.
If I try to imagine myself in her position as a outspoken religious person, I would perhaps like a gentle warning from an outsider looking in and noticing I was breaking LAWS, and would heed them well.
anon · 724 weeks ago
Rich · 722 weeks ago
Rich (aka Richard Cranium)
Concerned Parent · 712 weeks ago
babybeatnik 18p · 712 weeks ago
Second, I don't particularly take issue with Gracie's teacher responding to her question regarding her necklace. My daughter posed a question and her teacher responded in a means she felt to be appropriate.
Here is what I take issue with: My daughter is 6 years old and still views authority figures like her teacher as having a final say in what she believes. Her teacher wasn't presenting her BELIEFS about Jesus Christ and Christianity as such, but as FACTS. And, just to clarify, the meaning of the word fact is something that you can give proof for. Now, I'm not here to start an argument as to whether or not Jesus really existed or whether or not what the Bible says is true. I'm merely posing the argument that 1 - her teacher has no right to provide children with information based on belief and not fact as fact, and 2 - while you may believe this all to be fact, I do not, as I have not seen any proof for it. I'm sorry if that offends you, but perhaps you have me wrong.
As I was saying, Gracie still views authority figures as having a final say in what she believes. If her teacher were to tell her that the grass grows because Santa Claus tells it to, she'd believe that. She hasn't reached the age where she questions authority yet. I find it highly offensive that her teacher abused that authority to push her own agenda when talking about Easter. It would be one thing if Gracie had come home and told me that she learned in school that some people believe that Christ was crucified for our sins and rose 3 days later, etc, but she came home saying, "Hey mom! Jesus is the one true lord and savior! My teacher told me so!" Her teacher has NO RIGHT to tell my daughter what to believe in that aspect, and we have the CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to a little thing called SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE for this specific reason.
I have no issue with my daughter being educated about different religious holidays and the reasons that people celebrate them. What I take issue with is when figures of authority take it upon themselves to push their agenda by adding their own embellishments about how these BELIEFS are TRUTHS when THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW.
And again, if you choose to respond here, please don't address me as if you know me if you're not going to grant me the respect of knowing who you are.
babybeatnik 18p · 712 weeks ago
I have chosen not to indoctrinate my children, but rather, I am allowing them the education of multiple religions, presenting them as exactly what they are: beliefs. If my kids choose to follow one of those beliefs, more power to them. If they choose not to, that's great too. I just don't want them blindly following everyone's lead because they want to be accepted, etc.
Jesus Loves You · 711 weeks ago
Jesus Loves you MORE · 710 weeks ago
babybeatnik 18p · 704 weeks ago
I would like to note, however, that not once did I state that I don't believe in God. I said that I'm not religious, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe in anything.
To be honest with you, I don't know what to believe in, and I feel like a lot of the reason behind that is that I was spoon-fed that Christ is our Lord and one true savior and I feel a little bit betrayed by the fact that I wasn't given the opportunity to find that for myself.
I want to believe in God and I try to find reason to in every day that I live. I pray for signs, I pray for a feeling, I pray that He will speak to me in some way, no matter how indirect it may be, to let me know that he is there. There are some days that I do believe, but there are others when I am not so sure, and others still that I downright refuse to believe that any loving and benevolent creator could possibly allow the things going on in our world to continue.
There are a few things that I know in my heart to be true:
--Blind faith is of no use to me. I feel like there is no point in having faith if you can't challenge it and come out the other side still believing. Like I have said above, some days I come out of my challenges feeling a renewed faith, and others I am discouraged. But I will continue to come back because there is always a question in my heart as to whether or not something is out there.
--If there is a God, which I do truly hope that there is, I believe that he is loving - unconditionally loving - and understands and forgives me for stumbling. I also believe that if He is really there, he would want his followers to feel the same way for those of us who are still trying to find our way. He would not want them to turn their backs on us, but instead to turn their cheek and pray that our feet find the path.
I heard that you had a daughter recently, and I am sure that you are and will be a wonderful parent to her. I don't know if anyone is listening, but I will pray that your heart be a little more open, your mind be a little more understanding, and your tone be a little less cold, because if there is one thing that having children has taught me it's that everything you have ever believed will be challenged, and you will need those things to come clean on the other side.