Facebook Breast Cancer/Breastfeeding Status Game

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, there have been a lot of Facebook status games to try to help raise awareness. Last year it was posting what color your bra was in your status and not giving any explanation. This year the big one circulating asks where you keep your purse.

Here are my problems with that:

• My purse has nothing to do with breast cancer, or even breasts. So how on earth is this going to raise awareness?
• This game is trying to gain awareness of the early detection of breast cancer. Don't get me wrong: I'm all for that! But I think it's also really important to stress prevention! 

That being the case, some of my friends have come up with a new game, this one focusing on how breastfeeding reduces our risks of getting breast cancer.

Below is the email that we are trying to circulate. I would love it if you'd copy/paste this into an email and send it to all of your friends!

Did you know that October 1st marked day one of Breast Cancer Awareness Month? Last year women posted the color of their bra which made headlines & was a mysterious yet successful way to raise awareness. This year I'd like to suggest that we promote breastfeeding in addition to raising awareness on breast cancer. Did you know that breastfeeding reduces your risk of breast cancer by 4.3 percent for every year you breastfeed and if you breastfeed your daughter then she will have a reduced risk of getting breast cancer too. It's a win, win situation. So, let us celebrate breastfeeding awareness with posting in your status how much you reduced the risk or by sharing one point from below to help encourage other mothers to breastfeed their babies.

"It's cheaper"
"It's healthier"
"It helps prevent obesity"
"It helps you get a better night's sleep"
"It is more convenient"
"It's on tap"
"It's natural"
"It helps you lose weight"
"It helps prevent breast cancer"
"It helps you bond"

Remember that it's better to PREVENT an illness, especially cancer, than it is to try to "cure" it. I hope you'll take a moment and participate in this Facebook Breast Cancer Awareness Initiative.

Reference: http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVDecJan03p136.html

A Pictorial Update

A lot has been going on around here lately. The times I'm not busy with school is pretty much taken up by the kids.

Gracie is doing well in school. She's making friends as well as learning to deal with those who aren't worth her time. (I say this in a non-snobby way, I promise.) There are a couple kids in her class that she just doesn't get along with, so we're working on what to do and what to say if a conflict arises. So far, she seems to be handling herself pretty well.

I had mixed feelings when I heard that she was the only girl playing in a group of 5 boys though... They were playing Mario (as in Super Mario) and she was Princess Toadstool. On one hand, I'm very happy that she seems to be well liked, but on the other I can't help but think bad things about the boys intentions. I realize that these kids are 5 and 6 years old though, so I highly doubt their intentions are anything but pure.

Kairi is getting big, as typically happens when babies become toddlers. She's really starting to spit words out -- something my mother was worried she was behind on. (She's not.) Her newest phrases are:

"Take a bath?"

"Here ya go!"

"I'm okay!"

It's been a lot of fun realizing that her little rambles and babbles are turning into phrases... They're still in their early forms. Much like a sculptor molds his clay, Kairi's words and phrases are still really soft and not fully defined, but are beginning to take a recognizable shape.

As for me, I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I got new glasses! (Kairi and I worked together on breaking the old pair.) So far, I love them. I'm hoping these ones will last as long as the old ones did (almost 10 years!) because I think they're really cute. :)

I also got contacts and dyed/highlighted my hair. It's amazing how such a little thing can do so much for a person's self-esteem. I'm not typically one to care about my looks, but it feels good to know you look your best and as down in the dumps as I was at the beginning of last month, it was incredibly an incredibly healing pick-me-up.

Over the last month, we've gone a couple times to Tulsa to see the allergist for Kairi. I'm not sure if I posted about it, but a few months ago she broke out in a severe case of full body hives that got me a little paranoid about food allergies. We don't have a local allergist that will see kids as young as Kairi, so we got a referral and made our way to the Allergy Clinic. It was nice though, since we got to spend time each visit with my mom. The drive there is gorgeous and always lifts my spirits.

The pictures I tried to take of the rolling tree-covered hills didn't come out very well, but here's one part of the road that I really like.

And finally, one last pic to leave you all with. While washing the car and playing in the water, this somehow happened. So, I extend this heart to you, my friends and family. I will try to post more often, but until the next time, know I love you all.

So THAT'S Why He Wrote It...

You know, I'm beginning to understand why Billie Joe Armstrong wrote the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends."

This month has sucked. And we're only a week into it.

School is going well, but rest is not. Kairi is not wanting to go to bed at a reasonable time which makes waking up really hard for me. It also makes staying awake later in the day incredibly hard and I get very easily frustrated and flustered when I'm tired. (Not to be confused with "flusterated," which is an entire post in and of itself.)

On top of the general state of walking death, I've had to deal with some pretty devastating personal drama. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that it's been incredibly stressful and I'm pretty sure that the damage done by it is irreparable.

And this morning I managed to break my glasses simply by picking them up. I went a good half of my day without glasses, giving myself a headache from eye strain, before I finally came to my senses and bought some super glue. It's a temporary fix but I've got an optometrist appointment tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that they will have my prescription of contacts on hand because although my glasses are currently operational, they are not comfortable as they are sitting a little wonky across my nose on top of the previous wonkiness that came from Kairi twisting on of the ear pieces almost all the way off.

I've had my glasses with the same prescription for almost 10 years. I had decided to get new ones with my grant money from school anyway, but this couldn't have come at a worse time. All of my bills for September are due right now and my grant money isn't coming until later in the month, possibly not until early October. Thankfully, my mother has graciously offered to loan me the money to get my glasses and contact situation under control (she's always saving my ass - you might notice a trend if you read my blog very often).

Oh! And I nearly forgot! On the 1st, I woke at 5 am to Kairi breathing really abnormally. Her breathing was shallow and extremely labored. She was having what the doctors called "retractions" which is where she was breathing so hard that her stomach (the outside, visible areas, that is) was being sucked up under her ribs with each breath.

Having dealt with upper respiratory issues with Gracie when she was young as well as our previous bouts of bronchialitis and pneumonia with Kairi last year I knew that she needed a breathing treatment so I got out of bed and pulled the nebulizer out of the closet - but there was no medicine with it. As it was still very early in the morning (about 6 by this point in time) I knew my only option was to hit up the ER.

Thankfully there was only one or two other people being treated in the ER at the time of our visit so it only took about an hour and a half. They let me give her a breathing treatment there and gave us some prescriptions for not only the medicine for the nebulizer but also some antibiotics and some steroids for any infection that may have been present in her lungs.

I got home at 9 after getting all the prescriptions and got Gracie to school but by the time I got home I myself was sick and I found Jason sick as well. I had baked cod the night before and although I was certain it was done, Jason didn't seem to be. I guess we'll never know, but I stand by my cooking.

So, this - in a nutshell - has been how the month of September has treated me thus far. Granted, it could be a lot worse, but I am really beginning to relate to Billie Joe's words even if I think he's become a little too politically minded and sappy.

For now, I'm heading to bed. And as much as I'd like to just sleep through this month, I've got lots of things to take care of (Jason's birthday is Sunday!) and I doubt if anyone would appreciate my extended snooze.

The New Students and the New Diapers

I haven't written in a while and I don't have one specific thing to write an entire post on, but I do have a lot of little things that I'd like to share.

First off, I want to tell you that I'm going back to school! I'm really excited about it. I'm taking 4 classes this semester that totals out to 12 hours. My classes include Ethics, Sociology, Comp II, and Intermediate Algebra.

For those of you who don't know, this will be my second college semester. My first semester was in fall of '08, but I was unable to attend the spring semester because Kairi was born in March that year. I decided to take Kairi's first year off to stay home with her and now that school is starting back up, I'll be glad to get back into it.

Originally, I started school to go into psychology. My plan was to go all the way through my masters in psychology to become a psychologist. Since having Kairi, my passions have switched a bit and I am thinking about applying what classes I've taken to a degree in nursing and moving on to eventually become a certified nurse midwife. The classes I'm taking this semester can be applied to either degree, so I'm giving myself just a little bit more time to decide which direction to take.

Also, Gracie has started school again! She's in Kindergarten this year and after her 3rd day in, she's loving it. There are several kids from her Pre-K class that are in her class this year, so she's already got friends to hang out with at recess.

Kairi is doing well. We had some problems with her diapers after our detergent was recalled and when we thought we were going to have to start all the way over, a wonderful friend of mine sent me a ton of gently used diapers that she was no longer using to replace what we might have lost. After several more attempts to salvage my original diapers, I was thankfully able to. But I'm grateful to my friend for what she's sent. I'm getting to try a lot of new things and I've got enough diapers at this point that I have no need to buy any more. And as much as I love buying the diapers (it's like clothes shopping - it's hard to stop even if you have enough!) we are doing it to save money, so I probably should keep my wallet put away. At least for a while.

My whole stash laid out. Pretty, huh?

Aside from that, we really haven't been up to much. Mostly just hanging out at the house, trying to escape the heat. I'll be excited when summer is over!

Quick Hit: The "I Did It and I'm Fine" Rant

I don't know about you, but I get SO tired of the "I did it and I'm fine" argument. It comes up everywhere you turn and in many different forms.

There's the one we use for our kids: "Well my mom did this for me, and I turned out fine, so why shouldn't I do the same for my kids?"

Then there's the don't fix what ain't broken version: "I've always done it this way and it's never caused any harm."

I'm sure there are a million different variations and to list them all would take all day, but I'm sure you get the idea.

What brings me to think about this is an encounter that I had yesterday at the gas station. As I was walking through the parking lot, I saw a man smoking a cigarette who was about to start pumping gas. He showed no sign that he was going to put out his cigarette.

Typically speaking, I tend not to approach smokers in public about their smoking. As an ex-smoker, I know how defensive people can be, especially when they're in the great outdoors among all the fresh air. But this guy was potentially putting myself, my kids, and everyone else at that gas station in danger.

"Don't you think you should put that out?" I asked the guy.

"Nah. I do this all the time," he shrugged as he placed the nozzle in his car. "Never hurt anyone."

I was amazed. "Yeah? Well I've never overdosed on heroin, but you don't see me out here shooting up, now do you?"  I made my way back to my car, pumped my gas as quickly as I could and sped off, furious.

I just don't understand how people can advocate and condone dangerous behavior simply because it's never hurt them personally.

How about you? Does this piss you off as much as it does me? What instances have you run into? Did you respond to them? If so, how?

A Dream Interpreted

I had an awful dream last night. Lately, Gracie's attitude has gone even further downhill, and although I think I am finally figuring out ways to deal with it I can't say that it's not taking a toll on us. I'm much more irritable and tired when the day is through, as is she.

So my dream... I dreamed that because of Gracie's attitude problems, I decided to send her to a month long disciplinary camp - a place where I would only be able to talk to her once a day for 5 minutes over the phone. In my dream, I was so confident in my decision, then when the people came to pick her up I realized that I hadn't done any research at all. I didn't know what methods these people were planning on using to straighten my child out. I didn't find out until they got there that I'd only be able to talk to her once daily. Panic started setting in when I realized that I hadn't done anything to prepare Gracie for what was to come either. She had no idea that she was going to be gone from us for more than a night or two, or that they had planned on her sleeping in a tent (something she's never done). Tears streaked down my face as I watched her happily waving from the back of the bus as it drove off. I was sending my daughter to an ambush and she was absolutely gleeful about it.

I woke up with a feeling of dread, similar to how I feel after watching a post-apocalyptic movie. My heart feels heavy and I am literally seconds from crying. As I think more about what the dream could mean, I can't help but feeling like perhaps I've been treating Gracie too harshly when she starts acting out. Our tempers tend to flare pretty high and pretty quick in this family and I know I am my mother's child when I've hit my boiling point. I can hear the same shrill tone in my voice once I've had enough and after that, even the most mild irritants will send me through the roof.

Please don't misinterpret me here; my mother was and is wonderful. But everyone has their faults.

I remember making my mother angry as a child: I'd either do something really bad or I'd do a lot of little things that built up over time to wear down her patience. When she finally lost her temper, it was over. From then on out, like me, even the most mild irritants would push her back over the edge. I can't blame her - when you've had enough, you've had enough. It's not easy to explain this to a child though, and when she would erupt I remember thinking things like, "Well I just left my plate out after dinner for a few minutes.... I was gonna take it to the sink in a little while...."

Now as a mother myself, I see myself following in her shoes in a lot of ways, both good and bad. And one of those ways is that I tend to overreact once my buttons have been pushed a few too many times. It has no off switch either. If I lose it early in the day, my patience stays pretty thin the rest of the day.

I think that perhaps this is some of what my dream was trying to tell me. Maybe I need to calm the eff down when I'm dealing with Gracie. It's not fair to her that she has to deal with my anger issues and it's no fun for me feeling the guilt of overreacting over something small.

I hope that my decision to work through my anger differently will not only change the dynamic between my daughter and I, but maybe I'll sleep a little better at night too.

What I'm Into Right Now

I just wanted to share with you fine folks my new obsession.... This is some seriously good music. You should check out both of these lovely ladies' solo channels (Nataly's here and Lauren's here.) as well as Nataly's other collaboration channel, Pomplamoose. (It's amazing. I promise.)

Anyway, enjoy!



Let me know what you think in the comments. Do you have a new favorite that you wanna spread around? Link it up! I need some new music!

Wordless Wednesday: Playing in the Rain

Guest Post: When Breastmilk and Water Don't Mix

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Nursing in Public hosted by Dionna and Paige at NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public ("NIP"). See the bottom of this post for more information.

***

This post is also a guest post, written by a wonderful woman by the name of Heidi. Big thanks to Heidi for allowing me to publish her story!

***

I was approached at our local pool two times in less than two weeks for nursing my 11 month old there. The first time someone in the pool who saw me nursing her said something to the life guard. The life guard came over to me, after we were done nursing, and asked if I could breastfeed my baby in the locker room or family bathroom or cover up.

COVER UP?! I was in a swimsuit in the WATER!

Luckily I was with my Le Leche League leader and she jumped in and stated that it was against the law to ask any nursing mother to move or to cover up. I told her that I would not be moving into the bathroom and suggested that she learn the law, especially since it's a public facility!

After thinking about what happened, I sent a letter to the director of the pool and suggested that he teach his employees about the law so it doesn't happen again. Imagine if this happened to a mother who was unaware of her rights! The pool director was very apologetic and said they were having an employee meeting in a few days and that he would address the issue. He said that he knows the law and has taught his staff about it.

I think the person who reported me to the lifeguard must have been another mother because there were only a few other women and children in the pool at the time. How another mother could have a problem with this is beyond me!

The following is the email correspondence between myself and the pool director. 

To whom it may concern,

Today I took my two children to Fairmont to go swimming on this beautiful day from 10-11am. I love your pool and it's accommodations to the children. (We also attend Galaxy Gymnastic regularly) I also meet two other friends and their children, who I invited to join us. My 10 month old was getting tired and wanted to breastfeed and I would NEVER leave my 2.5 yo by herself in the pool so I nursed my child in the shallow end. After, we swam over behind the slide to let the children out to see the ducks. Just then, one of your young female staff members came over and politely asked me to cover up or go into the bathroom/locker room if I was going to breastfeed my child again. I said why? She said because someone complained about it. We (my other nursing friend and I) explained to her that it is against the law for anyone anywhere to ask a mother to cover up or move or stop breastfeeding her child in Utah. From her reaction I don't think she knew of this law. That is why I am writing. Both my friend and I thankfully know of our rights as nursing mothers in public. If it were an unknowing mother I think she may have felt very offended by this and compliant when she didn't need to be.

I have included the two UTAH codes for a mothers right to breastfeed in Utah so you can educate your staff about this subject, especially since you are a public city ran facility. I have MANY other friends that come to your pool that are breastfeeding mothers and will nurse their children at your facility. Please educate your staff so this doesn't happen to another mother. I will continue to be a patron and will also continue to breastfeed my child there if need be.
Please, feel free to contact me if you have further questions.
Thank you,
Heidi L.
http://le.utah.gov/~code/TITLE17/htm/17_15_002500.htm
http://le.utah.gov/~code/TITLE76/htm/76_10_122905.htm

Their response:

Heidi

I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may have caused. We have covered this topic with all of our staff in previous in-service trainings. We had instructed all our staff that breastfeeding could be done anywhere in our facility. There is another staff training this Saturday and this topic will be added to the agenda. We have counseled the staff from this morning and corrected the information.

I am proud of our facility and hope that we continue to keep it kid-friendly. Thank you for continuing to use Fairmont Aquatic Center for you and your families' enjoyment. Again I am sorry for any inconvenience that this morning's situation may have caused.
Gene M.
Program Manager

The second incident happened at the same place. I was a bit reluctant to nurse there again and wanted to hold off until we got out of the pool. My discomfort was the result of being confronted for doing something so natural. My daughter was inconsolable, so I decided that I'd better nurse just before we left to change.

Before I had even letdown, a different life guard came running over and asked if I could get out of the pool to breastfeed.

I told her that I wouldn't move and that it was my right to nurse there. She told me that she wasn't asking me to cover up or nurse in the bathroom this time, but that she wanted me out of the pool so no milk would get in the water.

"How would my milk get in the pool when she's nursing?" I asked.

She claimed to know how letdown works and said that if the baby isn't latched on the milk keeps dripping out. She even compared it to eating Doritos in the water!

I explained that it's only for a brief time and that it won't effect the water but she continued to ask me to get out. Still refusing, I asked if this was her policy or the pool's policy and she said it was the pool's.

She finally gave up and decided to return to her post to watch over the pool.

Later I called the pool director who said that he had heard what happened and had tried to find me to apologize. He said that it was not their policy to ask nursing mothers to leave the water. He was sincerely apologetic and said that I can nurse wherever I need to. I suggested that he continue to educate his staff.

I stated my concern for the mother's who are unaware of their rights or who are already uncomfortable nursing in public. If they had to go through something like this, it could really jeopardize her nursing relationship! I also sent the director a link to the international nursing sign to put on the front doors of the pool, but in the months since these conversations I have yet to see it posted. I have been there and nursed there since and will continue to do so. The more it's seen the easier, I think, people will expect it as the norm!

On both occasions I had my 2 year old daughter with me as well. I wasn't going to leave her in the pool or make her get out and be cold as she waited for her sister to finish nursing. I wonder if they ever even considered that!

Confrontation vs. Censorship

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public


This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Nursing in Public hosted by Dionna and Paige at NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public ("NIP"). See the bottom of this post for more information.


***

As most of my friends and family know, I breastfeed Kairi and I am passionate about the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.  Some have even said that I've become a bit of a different person since having Kairi because of how immersed I've become in this and other aspects of attachment parenting.

For a while, I would post frequently on both Twitter and Facebook different articles about breastfeeding and my views on current events in breastfeeding news. One night, I shared a particularly funny link to a comic strip about breastfeeding and my Facebook page got lit up. Apparently people don't like hearing about breastfeeding.

After that day I decided to drastically reduce my amount of posts on Facebook regarding breastfeeding. It really did seem like a lot of the time that I posted about it, particularly breastfeeding in public, it would spark some pretty nasty debate. It always started out clean, but at some point or another someone would compare breastfeeding in public to lewd and disgusting acts or someone would call formula feeding parents lazy or ignorant and things just turn ugly at that point.

It truly bothers me when I have something to say but I feel the need to censor myself. I don't like confrontation but I hate tiptoeing around subjects even more. I don't often have the need to nurse in public but when I do, a twinge of the same need to censor myself hits me. I often wonder if I'm going to be approached and asked to leave or if some stranger is going to be Tweeting about how I shouldn't be nursing my child next to him while he's eating his gyro. I wonder if the people who get up to leave are leaving on their own accord or if the simple act of feeding my child has made them so uncomfortable that they feel the need to flee.

It just seems so strange to me that people are SO appalled by the way our bodies have given us the ability to feed our kids on demand, for free, a substance that is biologically perfect. It angers and saddens me that I can't feed my daughter wherever we happen to be and I can't talk about these issues that concern me without falling under fire. Someone recently said that breastfeeding is the ONLY biological norm that we are running away from more than running to - and I totally agree.

So, because of this, because hearing about and seeing breastfed children NEEDS to be an everyday NORMAL event, I will no longer censor myself or back down from an argument or debate for the sake of avoiding confrontation. I will not confine myself to the darkened corners and hallways to avoid the ever-watching public eye just because my child is hungry. All I want is to feed my child in peace. Is it really so wrong to ask for that?