tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.comments2023-03-29T23:06:47.778-05:00A Beatnik's Beat on LifeErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01378921984835830938noreply@blogger.comBlogger194125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-11950731976953690782011-09-02T12:44:06.480-05:002011-09-02T12:44:06.480-05:00@Ernie's Mother -
I'm so sorry that you&...@Ernie's Mother - <br /><br />I'm so sorry that you've had such difficulties! I can imagine that would be a very sore subject for you. <br /><br />I'm with you 100% on this: "Everyone should really just mind their own business, on all sides." <br /><br />My personal stance is basically this: I try to share my experience and make it known that I am a breastfeeding advocate so that any friends or family that might have questions know they can come to me, should the want or need to. I try to dispel the myths that surround breastfeeding so that my friends and family might be more open to the idea of doing it themselves if that's what will work for them. I want people to try it, but if it's not going to work for you and your family, and formula is a better fit for you, then I am 100% behind that. I don't want to be militant about it, you know? You're the parent of that child, and in the end, so long as that child is being treated well, it's none of my business. :)Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01378921984835830938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-20125539835943227322011-08-23T02:32:12.407-05:002011-08-23T02:32:12.407-05:00Sorry to comment on this since it is really old, b...Sorry to comment on this since it is really old, but...<br />I personally have some physical anatomical issues which make solely nourishing my babies by nursing impossible.<br />It breaks my heart, but I must give the babies formula. <br />This is Baby3. I discovered this the hard way with the first two. <br />I nurse Baby3, who is currently one month old. Whatever drops he gets are that much of a bonus, but I also give him formula so that he can actually get some nourishment. <br />I get a lot of flack from the breastfeeding natzis (well-meaning as they are). I am always put in a position to defend myself and my feeding choices. I really don't want to explain to every person I meet my physical issues which require formula. My breasts are none of anybody's business.<br />Maybe I'm ultra sensitive to it because it has broken my heart that I am unable to solely nurse. It is a no-brainer on how it is natural, best for baby, etc.<br />I'm sorry that people have made comments about nursing to you. <br />I wanted to let you know that I stand on the other side and people make just as many comments about bottle feeding. The difference is that you actually have science behind you. Breastfeeding IS better for baby. <br />No one has ever commented to me about breastfeeding being wrong, indecent or anything. They have all just commented on the formula/bottles. It stabs me every time, since it is a sore subject with me.<br />Everyone should really just mind their own business, on all sides.Ernie's Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09825471289797620280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-2502982223775886432011-07-06T16:40:01.201-05:002011-07-06T16:40:01.201-05:00I know this is an old post, but just thought I'...I know this is an old post, but just thought I'd share a song with you that can be very applicable to addictions, habits or even past problems.<br /><br />since it won't let me embed it, I'll just link it here:<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZBEFFWnX7cAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-40593314387362343522011-03-04T13:03:26.485-06:002011-03-04T13:03:26.485-06:00If God didn't want my child to be breastfed pu...If God didn't want my child to be breastfed publicly, He would have made my boobs with an attached "privacy cover".<br /><br />NOWHERE in the Bible will you ever see anything saying that any form of nudity is bad or wrong in God's eyes.Alexxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17947220243478669126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-18774016859487033542011-01-25T07:08:25.165-06:002011-01-25T07:08:25.165-06:00Hi I follow you on Twitter @mamachickx4 and its so...Hi I follow you on Twitter @mamachickx4 and its so funny I came across ur blog cause I'm about to order some of these for Muffin. She turned 1 this month and I wanted to use cloth to roll into potty training...pullups are expensive. I appreciate this review and your realness. Its helps me make a decision of whic dipes to buy. I will get some extra inserts as we'll.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-6015159466082460262010-11-30T16:32:45.979-06:002010-11-30T16:32:45.979-06:00You should check out picnik.comYou should check out picnik.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10967917357775528851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-37473163149418053612010-07-20T16:33:58.607-05:002010-07-20T16:33:58.607-05:00I know this is an old post, but I thought I would ...I know this is an old post, but I thought I would comment after reading this:<br /><br />It's hard when life comes up short. I know how you feel. A good friend (at the time, she moved away and we don't really get to talk much) lost her 6 month old. It was hard on me because my friend called me everyday to share his firsts and we helped with brain storming things. He was the son I will never have. I love him. <br /><br />This is way it's so important that October 15th gets remembered and becomes a special day nationally. Here is the link, I will be blogging about it when the time comes.<br /><br />http://october15th.com/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-27008806388327764312010-07-02T20:34:24.042-05:002010-07-02T20:34:24.042-05:00I love the Kawaii diapers as well. I just made my ...I love the Kawaii diapers as well. I just made my second purchase with them and I'm sure I'll be back for even more! I wonder if they have changed their inserts because I've found the opposite to be true - the inserts they sent me the first time were VERY thick and I couldn't imagine using them both. I've never had a leak and I've only ever used one at a time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-41016228140092985772010-05-17T10:03:25.916-05:002010-05-17T10:03:25.916-05:00Erin, this is great! What a sweet and well-written...Erin, this is great! What a sweet and well-written story. :) I'm glad that Gracie didn't die either. lol<br />Thanks for stopping by. Oh, and it's not a tumah! Have a great day.<br /><br />Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud<br />@TweetingMamaKristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03690301218425965735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-86020811174663778352010-04-15T12:16:29.949-05:002010-04-15T12:16:29.949-05:00I definitely fear the judgment, but for me it'...I definitely fear the judgment, but for me it's mostly from within my family. We are kind of the odd-man out among our family for choosing AP-style parenting. Honestly I just try not to ever bring it up. If they're all talking about cribs (versus cosleeping) or bottles or strollers or whatever other things they have that we don't do I just don't say anything. At all. I know my opinion isn't shared and isn't particularly appreciated. So I just shut my face and then do whatever I want! Probably not the best solution, but it works for me.<br /><br />And if people ask me about it outright? I usually just mumble something and chance the subject. I'm not going to talk to people about cosleeping when I don't know their opinion about it ahead of time because I don't really want to hear them rant about how wrong I am.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07187151463075117941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-25833924223485720632010-04-14T21:44:39.473-05:002010-04-14T21:44:39.473-05:00Gosh...I wish I knew. Even when people seem genui...Gosh...I wish I knew. Even when people seem genuinely curious, many inevitably seem to think that my parenting decisions are somehow judgments of theirs. You could just answer the questions (if they are curious and you feel like it) and then mention how being confident in your own choices makes you comfortable with others who make different ones. Maybe they'll chew on that and its implications before getting judgy with you.Candace Aprilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05888447703056321730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-29908221117537649432010-04-14T12:16:32.277-05:002010-04-14T12:16:32.277-05:00When it comes to people I know IRL, I'm fairly...When it comes to people I know IRL, I'm fairly blunt. Though, before our babe was born I created a family website that had all of our "ideals" listed. They included natural birth (didn't happen), cloth diapering, breastfeeding. I did, however, leave out any thoughts on co-sleeping. I wasn't really planning on it (well, we bought a co-sleeper, but weren't planning on bed sharing), but once we started to I was afraid of the judgement. <br /><br />Eventually people realized that we weren't using the crib when I kept letting it slip that she wouldn't sleep away from me, lol. Opps. Now I don't care. People ask if she sleeps through the night, STILL, and I tell them no, she still nurses all night. <br /><br />As for all the other stuff:<br />CD's - I try to play up the fact that they're MUCH cheaper than disposables in the long run. That seems to catch people's attention better than the environmental impact. It helps that I was CD'd as a child, as was DH, so our parents understand. Though they were blown away at the ease of today's AIO's and pocket diapers! I think seeing the actual diapers helped sway some. Though, there will always people people who think it's gross. To those, I try to, kindly, tell them that you're supposed to dump the poop out of 'spoies as well :P<br /><br />Breastfeeding - It was something that was CRAZY hard for us, so I think most of my friends and family understand that I'll do it for as long as possible. I, luckily, wasn't met with much "give the baby a bottle" as lots of people bf around here. Though, now that the babe is over a year old, I think I'm met with some weirdness. My father asked me when we were gonna wean just yesterday. Errr. <br /><br />It's so hard! I have actually lost some friends over the whole CIO/AP issue. They thought I was being judgey, they were getting defensive. We were both new moms. Emotions ran high and we called it quits because we couldn't talk about the things in our lives at that time. It sucks!Amber, The Unlikely Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08889294257203900407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-56572501267235661602010-04-13T22:20:06.421-05:002010-04-13T22:20:06.421-05:00I guess I'm partly lucky that I don't soci...I guess I'm partly lucky that I don't socialize much. :P <br />When I do, I try to seek out places where I'll find like-minded parents (AP play group or La Leche League meeting) and otherwise (picking up my son at preschool), try to keep it to pleasantries. If I sense there's some judgment there, I try to avoid the conversation because I know I won't convince them.<br />The two sentences I do keep armed and ready are:<br />1) the WHO recommends that breastfeeding continue to 2 years or as long as mother and child wish.<br />2) I don't believe in leaving my child alone in a dark room to cry.<br /><br />Short sweet and ends unwanted conversations quite quickly.BluebirdMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03883725807811185062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-21921438436360456822010-04-13T18:08:48.107-05:002010-04-13T18:08:48.107-05:00I think the best thing is just to keep it personal...I think the best thing is just to keep it personal and that it is what you are happy/comfortable with.<br /><br />I think bringing up studies/research just tends to be taken as being judgmental - not just because it's like you are saying that you are right - but because it assumes (inadvertently) that the other person hasn't taken the time to do their own research.<br /><br />At the end of the day, too often your parenting decisions will be taken by other parents as judgment of their parenting decisions. And unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it.Zoey Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01763663070753377293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-62407800001115502742010-04-13T18:08:48.108-05:002010-04-13T18:08:48.108-05:00First, I would try to surround myself with more li...First, I would try to surround myself with more like-minded friends - through LLL maybe? Once you have a tribe it's much easier to feel good about what you do. Although our internet tribe *does* help us a lot with these issues sometimes having real live people to see and be around who do the same things can make us feel a lot better about our choices. But I say KUDOS to you for being willing to be the outsider and stick to your guns about what you believe is the right way to parent. <br />When people ask me why I do what I do, I like you just tell them that this is what works for our family and every family's needs are different. That usually avoids making them feel judged in return.Melodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05859568015767404451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-30032738458238301672010-04-13T15:25:37.905-05:002010-04-13T15:25:37.905-05:00I just nod my head and smile. If people are really...I just nod my head and smile. If people are really interested they will ask. And I have found that siting studies or getting upset just turns people off.<br /><br />It took me a long time to get to this point though. For a long time I tried to argue, but it just never did any good.Alexandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15826906767935455854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-67460417854543988612010-04-13T14:07:46.909-05:002010-04-13T14:07:46.909-05:00Im sure this would depend on who you were talking ...Im sure this would depend on who you were talking to. Some answers might be more appropriate for certain people than others. With that being said, here are two tips I picked up from "mothering your nursing toddler"<br />1) when someone says something like "how much longer are you going to nurse your kid?" you can just deflect it by saying something like "five more minutes or so!"<br />2) teach your daughter a word for nursing that you would be comfortable with her shouting at you across the grocery store or at a wedding. a code word or teach her to call nursing "night night" and you'll get amazed looks from people who think she's asking to go to sleep and won't require any explanation at all for why you leave the room. That will help in the future to prevent you having to even say anything. <br /><br />Good luck! And dont worry too much about what they think. Youre a wonderful mother and you;re doing an ama zing job.Mamma Piehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16342670830239937072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-83318396232510893532010-04-13T12:12:41.290-05:002010-04-13T12:12:41.290-05:00I think you just have to answer honestly and conci...I think you just have to answer honestly and concisely, without lecturing or citing studies, etc. Save that for people who genuinely want the REASON behind what you do because they are curious, or looking for alternatives to their own current parents styles. People who are asking because they are being judgemental don't really want an explanation - they just want an opening to tell you that you are wrong. Give a short, sweet and to the point answer. Or simply say, "Why do you ask?". In almost any situation, that answer will either end the conversation, because a judgemental person will not want to appear negative, or the person will reveal why they are asking, which leads to a productive exchange of ideas. Just remember to stand firm in what you believe is best for your family. We Moms need to stop judging each other and start supporting.Krisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-88154528968524512272010-04-13T11:54:29.386-05:002010-04-13T11:54:29.386-05:00Well, it all depends on the person you are talking...Well, it all depends on the person you are talking to. There are those that it is just not worth going through the trouble for. Then there are those that are a little more open minded, to whom I just explain all my 'eccentric' parenting ideas as simply as possible, and if they are still interested, I might send them a few emails, so they can discover it at their own pace.<br />And then of course you have such blatantly foolish people who for example ask you if you are still allowed to breastfeed your child at 18months, then I just say. Yes, it's best for her at least until 2 years and then we'll see.<br /><br />It all depends on your discussion partner and their attitude. And what's most important is that you try to stay calm, not preach and allow them their own opinion (no matter how ignorant it might seem to you)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773235393702832137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-41134969088714925202010-04-13T10:56:03.477-05:002010-04-13T10:56:03.477-05:00I go through this often, makes it VERY hard for me...I go through this often, makes it VERY hard for me to connect with other parents honestly. <br /><br />I can't wait to read all the responses you get because I am at a total loss!Sarah @ OneStarryNighthttp://onestarrynight.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-18285883164252553992010-04-13T10:40:06.704-05:002010-04-13T10:40:06.704-05:00First of all, I discourage people from making nega...First of all, I discourage people from making negative comments by appearing confident and happy. Honestly this goes a long way towards showing people that your choices are OK.<br /><br />I understand your concern about other people feeling criticised when you talk about your parenting choices. When I am talking about my extended breastfeeding, for example, I always qualify it by saying "Of course this works for me because I stay at home. If I was out at work, things might be different".<br /><br />I find it most difficult to talk about parenting with family members who parented their children very differently. Some disapprove and some feel slighted because we are doing things differently. I tend to take an unemotional, factual approach and explain the benefits (making it clear that they are real and proven, not just out of the heads of some mad hippies). When people see that you are well-informed and sure of your decisions, they tend to quieten down.<br /><br />Like Dionna said, fighting is not worth it!Cave Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08489375502067939290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-6313143350617711812010-04-13T10:28:21.996-05:002010-04-13T10:28:21.996-05:00Isn't it grand diverting from the beaten path?...Isn't it grand diverting from the beaten path?!<br /><br />One thing that I am trying to remind myself as I run into the very same things that you are mentioning in your post, is that we all have so much invested in our little ones. We all want to do the very best job we can to raise them to be the very best little people (and someday big people) that they can be.<br /><br />When we run into someone who is doing something differently than us it is only natural to wonder, "is it better?" "Should I be doing that?" "Would that be better for my little one?" "Why?"<br /><br />It is hard and scary to consider that the way we are doing things may not be the best. So, when people comment or criticize or judge the way I parent, I try to remind myself that this is where they might be coming from, and do my best to not feel offended.<br /><br />We're all in this together, just trying to do our very best in the way that we know. Be confident in your choices, if they are working for your family and your little one, that is really all that matters. (Easier said than done, of course.)Daniellehttp://borninjapan.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-39580168243223116212010-04-13T10:18:43.399-05:002010-04-13T10:18:43.399-05:00My friend who homeschools her two kids says the be...My friend who homeschools her two kids says the best response to people who don't understand why you are parenting in a non-mainstream way is to say, "it works for our family."<br /><br />People who are genuinely interested will ask more questions, at which point you can bring up studies, etc if you want to.Michelle @ The Parent Vortexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09302886747754170617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-56786229495944285622010-04-13T08:14:16.943-05:002010-04-13T08:14:16.943-05:00This is a really tough question to answer, because...This is a really tough question to answer, because so much depends on the person you are talking to. For the most part, I work under the assumption that most of my parenting choices are not up for a lot of discussion. "Oh, you know, we don't really have many nighttime problems. Please pass the bean dip!" or "Potty learning is swell, please pass the bean dip!" For issues I'm passionate about, I keep a few facts ready (breastfeeding and circumcision mainly), but I deliver them in the sweetest, most non-judgmental way possible. I think you'll get a feel for when someone is genuinely interested/open to new ideas and when they are just looking for a fight. It is so not worth it to fight.Dionna @Code Name: Mamahttp://codenamemama.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451950050325089959.post-68011553364138512942010-04-13T05:23:39.865-05:002010-04-13T05:23:39.865-05:00Saw the thumbnail in the "You might also like...Saw the thumbnail in the "You might also like" widget and couldn't resist clicking over for some cuteness. So glad I did!Lauren Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500733577920040395noreply@blogger.com